Sand Sharks (2012) #SharkWeak Review

Well would you look at this, a faint vestige of production values and technical ability! We even have a star name attached (Corin Nemec, “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose”, “Stargate: SG-1”). Now, there is actually a species of shark named sand shark but this film has little use for them. Instead, we’re still stuck with the unleashing of a prehistoric predator onto an unsuspecting world.

When an underwater earthquake cracks open a crater deep beneath the ocean’s surface, it unleashes a pre historic armoured predator, capable of ‘swimming’ through sand and rock. On the sleepy nearby island of White Sands, local teens drink and party beside a beach bonfire and everyone is getting ready for the music festival which will save the islands ailing tourism trade.

With the extra professionalism and technical polish, we’re into prime SyFy movie territory here. The acting is actually okay and the special effects, for the most part, are passable, with the bonus of some genuinely effective practical gore. Sure, the premise itself is as dumb as the rocks the titular creatures swim through (point of order: if they can swim through soil and rock, how were they ever trapped underground?) and the limitations of the budget become apparent when the music festival kicks off and the audience struggles to number in the tens. Seriously, there are so few people around they could probably have just starved the sand sharks to death by letting them eat the festival attendees. There’s a half-hearted attempt at a business/ shark metaphor and there are a fair few jokes and references to Roger Corman and bad shark movies in a good natured attempt at self-aware irony so “Sand Sharks” gets points for trying at least.

The film seems to use many of the same locations as “Dracano” so either Nemec doesn’t like to travel or he signed up for a two-for-one deal with the producers. Whatever else you say, Nemec brings his A-game to the B-movie nonsense but after a while the constant puns wear thin and the dragged-out ending just will not quit. It’s harmless, goofy fun and while it’s still nowhere near a good movie, it’s at least not an abysmal one.

3/10 

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